Been a Long Time, Huh!!!!!

yes, it has been a very long time since I've been on my blog. There have been many changes in my life and it's been a time that has been very difficult for me.

Most of you who take the time to check in on my blog already know that God took Mom home finally December 14, 2008. Of course, she even made her final rest a challenge.....but that was Mom. The funeral home where her already arranged funeral was to be was busy when she died. We had to wait til the end of the week before we could have calling hours or service. I worked until the day of the calling hours. I took that day off and the day of service and then went right back to work. I had no desire to be at home and have time to "think." Mom's home going caused an enormous amount of relief to us. We wanted Mom to always have "the best" and now, finally, she does. Even tho to this day we rejoice in Mom having the best, I think it's safe to say, we all miss her so much.

It has been especially tough on my youngest brother, and on this big baby who happens to be her baby girl. The two of us were closer to Mom than the other two. It doesn't mean she loved us more, it just means she spoiled us more. Mom was always such a part of my life my entire life. Not having her has proved to be a major, major challenge for me. I still find myself asking, "what am I suppose to do with me now?"

We have seen our youngest grandson reach the age of 1. What a cutie he is. He is such a loving little guy. If he thinks he's done something to upset you or make you mad, he'll come and want to hug and kiss to make sure you aren't mad at him. How could anyone get mad at such a jester from one so little?!!!! Our oldest granddaughter, Bryanna, continues to have a heart far older than her age. She will be 12 in October.........what a joy she is. Justin survived breaking the big bone in his left leg and laying in a body cast most of last year. He's in 3rd grade this year and playing football!!! Scares this grandmother to no end, but, he is so excited. As much as my work schedule will allow me, I will be on the sidelines rooting our little blonde on. Alexis turned 10 this year and I swear she's grown a foot this summer. Off to the country fair I went in support of her and her turkey. What fun I had enjoying her in the 4H fashion show! Back the next day for the turkey show! I survived and that's enough of that. Next year? I hope it's not a turkey. Those turkey things at the county fair takes sooooooooooooooooooooooo long! Our Gage is still the same ornery, busy little guy he has always been. He will be 4 the end of October. He takes his job as "big brother" very serious and it's such fun to watch the two of them. Reminds me so much of our own two boys at that age. God has blest us with 5 great grandkids. I'm still trying to get them all together and get ONE picture taken. Hopefully I'll figure out how to post it after I get it taken.

I continue to praise the Lord always regardless of the circumstances in my life. I continue to struggle with the dark hole of depression although I have had times when it's not been so bad. I have had to accept another physical challenge in my life in the name of diabetic neuropathy. Painful thing. I do not like it. Yet.......I have it. Life goes on and I keep telling it as well as my bad hip that I refuse to listen to them and we will go on.

I dearly love my job as a cashier at Walmart in Oberlin. I work with a great group and feel very blest to have the job I have. So many have no job at all. I SEE the results of that every day. My heart breaks when customers must put back groceries they need because they can't afford to buy them. I long to have pockets full of money so I can take care of every one of them. I cannot begin to share all the opportunities I have had to "let His light shine" at my workplace. So many times a day I find a crack, a window, and sometimes a door to speak up and be heard. I have a dear brother in Christ that will stop immediately and pray with me if I need him to. He's one of my coworkers God has placed there. I get lots of hugs from other cashiers often.........when THEY need one and when I do. My organizational skills have rubbed off on others. PRAISE THE LORD! So many are now cleaning and keeping their work areas neater and cleaner. I never SAID ONE WORD! I just try to be a good example and it has rubbed off. It was such a blessing to have a job closer to where Mom was. I rejoice to this day in that. It's closer to my house and closer to my sister and brothers. I am thankful for that, far more than I can express.

We have enjoyed a harvest from our garden this year! We continue to eat tomatoes. I think there is still one cabbage which I will use for cabbage, ham and potatoes. Speaking of potatoes...my goodness how God did multiply! Bill said he'd guess he dug about 500 pounds of red potatoes. Yes, we both are diabetic, but we are careful and there's so many things we can do with potatoes. AND.....I have plenty to share with others in need. Bill has worked hard on strawberries in hopes of having plenty of them to pick and sell next year. His berry patch sure looks nice at this point. What blessing we had with blackberries. They grow in our fence row and Bill worked hard to keep the weeds down and away from them and grass cut to make easy access. I have 4 (or was it 5) quart packages in the freezer and I think I made a total of five pies.....no, we didn't eat five pies. I sent pies to Gerry's house and sent pie to my sister and I took pie to my oldest friend, Margaret, who has been battling colon cancer. Plenty of pie to share and share we did. I'll use the frozen to munch on this winter and to bake a pie at the holidays. We have been blest and I am thankful!

Our roses grew beyond words! What a major, major thing it is to me to come here after a long day at work and see the beauty of the Lord in the roses! I was able to use some of my roses as encouragement to one of my coworkers as she graduated from college at the ripe ole age of.......well........not much younger than me. A small act of kindness gained much ground for His good and His glory!!!

Reality has set in as during this past summer we lost so many of our dear old saints that served as youth leaders and teachers during my younger years. Their time is done and God has called them home. I rejoice knowing we will have eternity together. Yet, my heart aches that we no longer have their example, or their visible strength with us. We still have one dear sweet, so very special saint left and she told my brother-in-law last week she was going to start attending the Methodist church because too many old people were dying in that church! I wish you all could meet her.................what a loveable, amazing, ornery dear saint she is. Jean told me not too long ago she'd had a long talk with God and told Him in no way was He ready to have her up there yet! How tough it will be for all of us when God calls her home! Loosing so many makes ya realize just how short life really is.

My challenges have been many, yet I know I am blest in so many ways. I truly do try hard every day to see the blessings and dwell on them. Being the human that I am, I often fail. Yet, I know it is never God who moves all over the place, it is me. Standing still and knowing has never been my strongsuit. There are days when I so long for heaven, but I know I do for all the wrong reasons. I want to be where Mom is..................and I know I need to want to be where God is! I do, I really do, but I so long to go and be where Mom is. I guess that little girl inside of me will always want her mom.

I have not dug out any new Bible verse that is gona blow us away these days. Instead I dwell on the faithful, the good ones, the strong ones that we grew up and will never forget. "Remember not the former things....behold, I will do a new thing now. It will come forth." Isaiah 43. I sure wish the new thing will come soon...................I grow weary waiting for the old things to go. I truly want to be "more like Jesus" and I realize that so often I fail.

Til next time.......and I really will try to do this more often..............hugs to all.............

Dea